Domestic Disaster
by purpleeyednekoyoukai
Summary: Wally and my OC embark on a wondrous journey as they attempt to adjust to life in the Justice Cave. My OC, as per her raising, is used to most of the more 'domestic' aspects of life. Wally, however... full summary inside


Domestic Disaster

Summary: Wally and my OC embark on a wondrous journey as they attempt to adjust to life in the Justice Cave. My OC, as per her raising, is used to most of the more 'domestic' aspects of life. Wally, however...might just end up banned from the kitchen, the supply closet, the laundry room and Aqualad only knows where else!

Note: No real pairings (planned, anyway), possibly/eventually some SuperMartian if you squint. This story is mostly going to center around Wally and my poor OC, whom he seems to torment often (intentionally or otherwise).

Laundry, Take One:

Wally frowned as he considered the laundry detergent. He didn't _see_ any instructions or warnings about how much to put in...and his uniform? It needed cleaning. _Badly_. ...well, he was a teenage boy. A teenage, non-pre-pubescent boy. Is it really any wonder his suit smells like it got run over by a sewage blob monster (true story, actually), got puked on by a dump (again, true story) and then spent the night in toxic waste (thankfully, not a true story)? Shrugging, he decided that an almost-overflowing cup of the detergent would suffice and dumped it in over his suit. It was so rank and...yech...worthy that he was afraid to try washing anything with it. 1.2 seconds later, the cap was securely back on the detergent, the washer lid was down and it was churning away. From what he recalled, he now had about an hour before it was time to put his suit in the dryer (could it even go _in_ the dryer? Wally couldn't remember and it's not like super-costumes came with washing instructions), so he sped away to play that videogame he'd borrowed from Hermes.

40 minutes later...

_**WALLY!**_

The teen flinched reflexively and dropped the controller as the other teens in the room stared at him.

"What'd you do _this_ time, man?" Robin muttered as they heard the door slamming marching closer to their present location.

"I don't even-" He broke off when their newest teammate entered the room.

Hermes was covered, from head to toe, in little foamy bubbles; her hair and clothing were plastered to her skin; her lone good eye glittered with malicious intent. The fact that she was currently floating as opposed to walking also clued Wally into the fact that she had lost her temper; the girl wasn't a big fan of her ability to fly (when indoors, anyway. One too many run-ins with the ceiling, lights or other fixtures tended to do that to ya).

"If I kitch ya-"

He didn't even wait for her to finish the threat; he bolted. She flew after him, murder-or at least maiming-intent-in her functional eye.

Four hours, a stern lecture about improper use of powers (courtesy of RT) and a few new bruises (courtesy of Hermes) later found Wally being dragged-telekinetically, so he couldn't escape-back to the laundry room. (1)

"Okay, okay...I screwed up...I get it!" He whined as he was towed along.

"Did ya even lookkit the instructions?"

He gulped and considered his answer; he knew, fullwell, that the other teen was far from calm and that his answer would be more than enough to set her off again. _"She's like a female version of Supey that way..." _

_Heard that._ She replied without even bothering to mouth the words.

"Well, you do have a temper!" He grumbled.

_Never said I didn't. But ya seem to be connected to ev'ry weird thing that's happin'd to me since I got here...so I'm more hair-trigger 'round ya than the others._ The black haired girl acknowledged as she gently (for her) plopped him on his feet and then opened the laundry room door.

The redhead gaped at the room. "What the..."

"How much soap ya add, anyway?"

He relaxed slightly; she had mouthed the words this time, which meant she was calming down (actually as opposed to just visibly). "Uh...it was kinda...overflowing...from the measuring cup..."

Instead of the explosion he expected, she merely facepalmed. "Well...assumin' RT dunno 'bout this, whatcha gonna do?"

"Beg you to help?" He pleaded.

She arched a brow.

"Please? RT'll kill me."

Her second eyebrow followed her first.

"Okay, he won't really...but Flash might!"

Hermes' eyebrows were now in danger of disappearing into her hairline.

Wally got down on his knees, clasped his hands together in front of him and stuck out his lower lip in an attempt to look pitiful. "Please help?"

When she sighed, he resisted the urge to jump up and whoop.

"Alright." She muttered. "But only 'cuz I need my laundry done today."

All of the soapy mess was peeled off everything in the room (sans Hermes) and deposited gradually in the sink. With a flick of her fingers, Hermes turned the water on so it would help wash the suds down the drain.

Wally hugged/pounced on her. "You're the best!"

"Ya say that ev'ry time I help keep ya outta trouble." She returned dryly but made no move to push him off.

The redhead grinned and relinquished his grip on her before he fished his uniform out of the washer. "Think it's clean?"

Both gaped when it disintigrated in his hands. Silence reigned until...

"I'm so not bein' there when ya 'splain to Flash why ya need a new costume."

Wally glared.

"However, if ya quit stabbin' me with yer eyes, I'll show ya how yer s'posed to use a washin' machine." An absent minded flick of her fingers accompanied the comment; the faucet promptly turned off.

He paused, then frowned. "No strings attached?"

"None, providin' ya quit pinnin' me to the wall with yer eyes."

"...fine."

Hermes calmly levitated her bag of laundry into the room. "This here's 'bout a weeks worth of clothes and towels. In laundry-load terms, it means it's a large-load." She telekinetically transfered her clothes from bag to washer, making sure her unmentionables were covered by other clothing. She's not sure Wally would mock or even do anything...but it never hurts to be cautious around the joke/speed-ster (she found that out the hard way, after falling victim to some of his less-funny-and-more-humiliating pranks).

"And...?"

She calmly uncapped the detergent, then pointed inside the lid/measuring cup. "That means ya fill the cup 'til it hits the two, pour it in, start it, slam the lid and forget 'bout it for an hour." Without any further dithering, she did. "Got it?"

"Yep." He was gone before the word finished zig-zagging its way across Hermes' auditory fibers.

The girl sighed again before she went in search of her gameboy and a quiet, Kid-Flash-free place in which to unwind.

-x-x-x-x-

Laundry, Take Two:

Hermes was not pleased. Though, saying she was 'not pleased' was akin to saying Batman was 'slightly broody' or Superman was 'kinda strong'. For the past two days, she had come down to breakfast to find one of her bras hanging off the chair she normally claimed as hers. Normally, Hermes wouldn't care...then again, normally, Hermes was the first one up and anywhere remotely close to the kitchen. The past two days, however, her alarm clock had not woken her because it had been a) unplugged or b) had the time of day switched from AM to PM. She had a sneaking suspicion she knew who had been pulling these 'harmless' little pranks and if she so much as _saw_ that arrogant little f-

Her internal rant paused when she smelled smoke; she hurriedly bolted for the source, which happened to be the laundry room. Mentally slapping the thought of panicking from her mind, she flung open the door to find the dryer smoking. She flicked her fingers at it and disabled the machine; she then waited. After what she deemed an acceptable amount of time, she cautiously cracked the dryer open with her telekinesis; when no orange flames licked the edges, she let out the breath she had been holding and opened it wider.

To complete her relief, the lint which was built up in the lint filter was only smouldering. A small sigh escaped her before she plopped the mass in the sink with her power and then turned the water on full blast.

And if a distant yelp was any indication, she'd done it during that...person's...shower. So much the better.

Noon...

"WHAT is your PROBLEM?" Wally snarled in lieu of a greeting as she entered the kitchen.

Hermes, noting both RT and BC's prescence, said nothing and merely got herself a bowl of cereal. She made a point to sit as far away from Wally as humanly possible and ignored the glance RT and BC exchanged. (2)

_Problem?_ She asked as she nonchalantly chewed her first bite of cereal.

Green eyes glittered with anger as they glowered from essentially across the room.

_Ya started it, Color-Clash, not me._

His eyes narrowed but he did not respond.

_Ya also almost started a fire, but, hey, guess ya don't care 'bout that either._

"What?" The boy yelped, half rising from his seat.

"It's not very nice to have private conversations in a group, you know..." M'gan murmured.

"Don't you EVEN-" The redhead began heatedly, then realized that it would appear he was yelling at M'gan. "Er...not you...HER." He growled, pointing at Hermes.

The black haired girl calmly expanded her reverse-channel so all present could hear. _I reiterate: problem?_

He crossed his arms with a glower. "...shut up."

BC and RT traded glances again.

1PM...

"...where'd I supposedly almost start a fire?" He questioned grudingly as he stood before the other teen.

_Laundry room._

An awkward silence began.

_...never used a dryer, huh?_

"Not really." He muttered.

A sigh ruffled her bangs as she closed her book and stood. "C'mon."

"Wha...?"

She glanced back at him. "Ya want me to show ya how to use the dryer or not?"

Grumbling under his breath, he followed her and sort-of wished he'd chosen "not".

-x-x-x-x-

Laundry, Take Three:

The majority of the residents in the Justice Cave were rudely awoken at 2AM by the blaring of the fire alarm. Due to most being half asleep, it was quite some time before the situation was handled correctly and there were some accidents along the way (including but not limited to Superboy falling on top of Miss Martian, Wally tripping over them and landing on top of Superboy, another-read: larger-pileup happening in a different hallway and Hermes almost getting trampled).

Watchtower...

The Martian Manhunter frowned as he checked the "alert" that flashed across his screen. _There's a fire at the Justice Cave_. He announced to the (mostly sleeping) Tower; he was unsurprised when he saw them moving faster than he had seen before but tucked that thought away for further consideration before he zeta beamed all of them there.

Justice Cave...

"What caused it?" An exhausted Flash questioned from the vicinity of the cushy rug on the floor.

"It appears to have been caused by the washing machine." Batman supplied and resisted the urge to rub his eyes. The other heros, after ascertaining the situation was under control and that no one was injured, had already returned to the Tower.

Hermes, one of the few who had been awake before the whole mess started, snorted before falling on her side, quaking with suppressed laughter.

"Whasso funny?" Robin slurred sleepily.

The girl snickered. "Figures...the **washing machine**..."

Robin looked at her balefully. "Dun get it."

She shook her head. "Dun mind me...been up for over 24 hours...lil loopy..."

"My bad." Wally mumbled, face buried in his hands. "I...kinda made a mess with the washing machine..."

"Wasn't entirely your fault." Batman grunted to the surprise of all present. "Faulty wiring."

For reasons unknown, that set Hermes off again.

"Bed." Flash commanded tiredly and pointed in the direction of their rooms.

"Wait." Batman interjected. "Get the list, someone."

Kaldur obligingly retrieved it from where it was posted on the fridge.

Under the heading of "Kid Flash/Wallace Rudolph West is NOT Permitted to Enter:", Batman added "the laundry room" beneath Batman's office, Miss Martian's room, Hermes' room, the girls' locker room, Black Canary's room, Red Tornado's room and Hermes' secret hangout.

"Now. Bed." Batman ordered; as they all traipsed off, he reposted the list on the fridge. As Batman, too, went to his own bed, he had a sneaking suspicion that that list was only going to continue to grow.

-x-x-x-x-

(1) - RT being Red Tornado

(2) - BC being...you guessed it...Black Canary


End file.
